Dreams are only dreams.

(and will only ever be just dreams.)

Every time this happens, I ask myself again and again,
                 w           h          y
I liked to think that it was fate, even though I knew it isn't.
Now I'm sure it isn't, but...
This still happens.
I hate it.
I don't want it.

It felt so real to me.

The awkwardness.
The hesitation.
You were reluctant to talk to me.
You were about to say something...
You were about to TALK to me-
Then someone came to get you.
So you could go-
wherever it is you have to.
It was an unpleasant dream.

But I hate it that it is.
I hate that even though you weren't nice to me in the dream, it's a dream anyway.
I hate that the moment I woke up, I instantly wished it wasn't.

who you are to me
and who you will be
what part did you, or would you
play in my whole life in general
will never be answered.
As I lost my chance with you
A hundred million times
A hundred million years ago.

Malang, pagi buta
27 November 2015