Three-Days-Tragedy Journal

Hai. Um. Yeah, seperti yang sudah bisa ditebak dari judulnya, kondisi Noska beberapa hari belakangan ini lagi ngaco. Bener-bener ngaco sampe gue malu cerita ke siapa-siapa, bahkan. I don't even know if I would actually post this thing to the net later.
But anyway. My mind is constantly f*cking with me so I need something to release the pent up tension. Can't do it to a friend, can't do it to myself because that's even more stressful, can't sing it out or draw it or whatever, you know? I'm just... stressed.
Well... the source of this stress is actually myself. Or... the dumb actions that I did, actually.
So let's wind up back to like um... two weeks ago.

Tue, 14th - SKIP QUIZ ARRRGH. Gara-gara bangun kesiangan doang!
                 - Skip kuliah tamu juga. Quiz @ 7.30 + Kuliah tamu @ 9.00 + Bangun @ 9.00 = FAIL.
Thu, 16th - SKIP QUIZ LAGI?? Gara-gara KESIANGAN LAGI??

Well. I'm not proud of myself. And the next week:

Mon, 20th - SKIP QUIZ karena: 1. Nggak siap. 2. KESIANGAN LAGI?!?!
Thu , 23rd -Harusnya sih susulan ya. Harusnya. TAPI KESIANGAN HELLO NOSKA???!!!
Sun , 26th - Skip padus, SKIP GEREJA?? NOS??

And then the last couple days:

Mon, 27th - GAK MASUK LAGI???
Tue , 28th - GAK MASUK LAGI?????? (Kapan susulan cuk???)
Wed, 29th - GAK MASUK LAG......WTF R U EVEN KIDDING ME?!?!?! Dan harusnya hari ini susulan! Harusnya Noska! NOSKA!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???

You know... To be fair, I wasn't feeling very fit these past few days. It's true.
I have a slight fever and to be honest I puked my brains out last Tuesday.
...But isn't that only because I didn't eat anything?
I hardly came out of my room these past three days and um...
Well, if I'm not sleeping, I'm reading webtoons all day.
I eat like... one meal a day, I guess?
No wonder I got sick.

This reminds me of the time when there's still Mas Hussein around. I got sick like this too.
Skipping classes. Not eating. Just glued to my handphone.
Except for these past few days I didn't charge my phone.
I didn't want to be looked for.
What was I thinking...?
Why do I do this?
I feel so empty... is that why I'm doing this?

I don't want to talk to people.
I don't want to go to class.
I don't even want to go out to eat.
I just...sat there and...slowly rot on my bed with all the technology to entertain me.
Do I need to go to a therapist?
I mean... things can't go on like this.
Why do I really...do this?
Why...
How can I do this...

This is really frustrating.
I don't know what to do.
Well, gue udah bangun sih sekarang.
Gue udah mandi. Makan. Nyuci daleman.
Siap pergi latihan padus nanti malem.

Apa kabar quiz ya...? Hmmm...

Quiz RE kayaknya tanya sama Titah dulu deh. Cuma ya nggak tau sih dikasih sama dosennya apa nggak.
Quiz DTD... nah ini nih. Ga ngerti lagi gue dosennya ke mana. Plis bgt minggu depan ketemu dan boleh minta susulan.
Quiz PKn... haduh. Masalahnya udah berapa minggu lewat belom minta susulan, abis itu tugas yg kemaren juga nggak ngumpulin... yaapa ya? Aiyah, stres!

Nanti lagi deh dipikirin. Hfffft......